worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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