By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
