can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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