i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
