I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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