My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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