Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize