i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
