so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
