lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
