I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
