You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
