The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
