Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
