i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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