that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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