I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
