i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
