1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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