VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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