Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
