you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
