so that wasnt chicken after all
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
