Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
