i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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