your parents love me but you hate me
Operation Purity has been aborted
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
