He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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