So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
