I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize