You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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