The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I can't put those talents on a resume
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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