Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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