Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
