who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
