yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize