if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My ass is underappreciated
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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