Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize