Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today

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(602): View more from Arizona

The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.

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(716): View more from New York

i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash

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(585): View more from New York

You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!

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(256): View more from Alabama

I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat

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