there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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