Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
