she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
