i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Who died my cat blue again?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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