I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
