so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You can't motorboat a personality
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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