i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I look better un-naked...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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