i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize