Do vagina's smell?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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