"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize