No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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