I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize