Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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