we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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