yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
