I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My legs feel like baby dolphins
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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