She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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