i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
