I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
