the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
