WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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