im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I think a kid would responsible me up
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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