i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
