there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
