I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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