butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
