me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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