you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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