$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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