you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
