ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
