The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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