Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
