But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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