so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
