yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
