i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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