OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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