Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
