Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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