Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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