ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
